Almost broke up with Wilson for the 2nd time? Well all i can say, he still hangs on to me cause he ain't got nobody. This is how i feel, cause this is what he gives me. For me, idk if i really still like him or not, or am i also just hanging on to him, cause he's been a part of me. 

I just talked to leon in msn. It hurts to know how much i'd hurt him, IT FUCKING HURTS. On a happier note, i went shopping with mom and sissyssssssss today, so happy!!!! <3 <3

“You can’t live your life for other people. You’ve got to do what’s right for you, even if it hurts some people you love.”

—     Nicholas Sparks (The Notebook)

It's been so so long since i last posted, and thousands of things have happened ever since. Many were of sorrows compared to happy times. Hearts were broke, tears were formed.

I did not even know Leon posted on our private blog till today. It was from last year december, and now do I realised how much pain i had given him. Till today, i guess he still feels pain and i .. on the other hand is living my life with other guy.  When i read what you posted, i really feel like crying. Till this date, idk if you still care for me like before. But i know you've long given up hope in us.

God was unfair to have given me two guys who treats me so well, but yet i do not know how to appreciate them. Leon is one, Wil is another. I guess after leon, i do not dare to fall in love again? I cant bring myself to love Wil, or any other guys anymore.

Seriously, my life is pretty much fucked up like before. I said i want to change, but did i ever change? Idk, i seriously dk what i want in life anymore. Everything is so messed up. Im trying to be free, but yet im afraid to go solo. 

I really want my old life back, i want it so fucking bad ..